“State your intentions please”


It is so strong on my heart to see men and women acting in accordance to how God intended singleness unto marriage to look like.

Tonight I have been reading some amazing articles after googling “christian dating”. I was pleasantly surprised at this amazing series in particular on singleness & dating as a Christian. I would highly suggest reading the following articles all the way through!

Stop Test-Driving your girlfriend

Real Men Risk Rejection

Brother you’re like a Six

Not your Buddy

A man should be required to state his intentions for a woman. If you are allowing him to be your best buddy & have your time/energy. He doesnt need to work for you, he already has your time, attention, energy. {Want to add, that the male on the receiving side may or may not acknowledge that he has this from you. Whether he does or not does not determine how you are to act.} I want to say this in bold because you are not to hand over to just any man let alone every man your heart, time, energy however this DOES NOT MEAN you are to make men jump through hoops women! What it does mean is that you have an understanding of your worth. You realize that you are a beautiful creation that is to be honored and respected. You are to be living for one man Jesus whether single or married. When your eyes are fixed upon Him, the man will need to make his intentions known because you should be so wrapped up in gazing at the one that you almost don’t recognize or notice him in a sense. I remember describing the process in which a man & women should begin a relationship from the womans perspective to a friend who was struggling with this very issue.

In your life you are to seek first the kingdom of God, gazing at the beauty of this man, exalting His name. Suddenly there is a man standing next to you, you notice him but go back to worshipping. Before you know it you and this man are running in sync towards the same prize and pretty soon you encouraging, pushing each other to reach higher than possible before. You realize that with this person you are able to do more for the kingdom, you are able to run harder, faster, you are able to endure more together rather than apart.

I would dare you to believe that God can and will fulfill every longing, every desire within your heart. That he will purify each and every one of those desires for his glory. Instead of leaning on the crutch of loneliness, and giving your time, energy, and heart away to a man who has not yet earned it give it all to Jesus. Trust Him that he will allow the right man to step in and ask when the time is right {yes, the man may not actually act upon the lords prompting for a good month or two or six, but remember he is human. This is where praying for your future spouse comes in;} It is so important as a woman to allow the man to pursue, for the man to initiate the relationship {whether that be asking you out on an official date, or having “the talk”}. God created men to lead, as a godly woman it is your duty to allow the man to be who God created him to be. Make him man up. You will not get in a relationship quicker if you choose to spend all your time with a man who has no intention of a serious relationship, you will instead most likely find yourself crying out to God confused & hurt. So bypass that and do it the God way. Seek God.

{I am sure I will blog on being pursued another day, because that is a whole ‘nother topic in itself.}


Kymberly Janelle

Singleness: Proactively waiting


“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”

Proverbs 31:22

It is late and I am pumped on endorphins after an awesome workout, therefore I can’t sleep. But it goes beyond endorphins. Its that I can’t get to sleep until I write kinda thing, until I touch the heart of God and know what He is thinking tonight. It goes to my desire to know truth. For those around me to know truth. Especially single women. Awhile back I was doing a mini series on what it means to be a single woman of God. And tonight I want to re-visit that topic. This weekend a friend reminded me of verse 22 in the well known Proverbs 31. Its quoted above. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” The key phrase is HE. Not the woman. It is not the woman’s responsibility to be looking, searching for a husband.

It is my belief that just as the body of Christ is to prepare themselves as Christs bride as pure, spotless, and holy we are to be doing the same as we wait to become married. It goes back to “proactively waiting”. Above all else our eyes are to be fixed on Jesus. Philippians 4:8 is a constant reminder of what to do when I am unsure, doubting, or worried: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” You know what is true, noble, right, pure, holy? JESUS! When in doubt, open the word of God and learn about Jesus.

I want to open up a bit about my personal walk in hopes that it encourages, and maybe it resonates with some of you as well. As of late in my prayer time I have felt the Lord calling me to Arise, to prepare myself as a bride. The one true meaning of this will ALWAYS be in reference to Jesus first and foremost. No matter what. I am already bethrothed, and I am to be acting, talking, thinking as though I am. This means setting my gaze higher, not settling for less, it can come down to very practical things. But the main purpose of it all is to GLORIFY JESUS through myself. How I arise and prepare myself may look different than how you do. But there will be a common denominator, Jesus is exalted and Jesus is our source of strength. The moment I think I can do it on my own and “let go” so to speak, I find myself quickly drowning in the sea of confusion and misrepresentation of what life is ‘suppose’ to look like according to the world.

So to go over again what it means to proactively wait, here are some practical steps. Take them or leave them. Better yet, talk to God about them. Ask Him what it is that He has specifically for you. And remember we ultimately are waiting for our King and savior Jesus Christ to return. We do this first and foremost for Jesus, and secondly for our possible future husband here on earth.

Proactively PRAY for your future spouse. This goes beyond the “bless him, keep him safe”. Ask the Lord about your future spouse. He knows Him better than you ever will and will be able to guide you in how to pray for this person even if you have not met them. What a powerful thing to be doing now!

Proactively prepare yourself as servant of Christ. As a disciple of Christ we are to serve. If you become a wife, serving is apart of the description. Start now, the so called little things like washing the dishes, letting the person go in front of you, paying for that persons groceries…Serve in your community. Ask the Lord where it is that He would have you involved.

Proactively seek Gods will for your life above your own. His ways are higher than our own. He knows what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, ten years from now. He knows what we need in our lives to build the patience, the long-suffering, the kindness to endure and overcome in the end. Is God asking you to move? Change jobs? Work more? Work less? Read the bible? What is it God is asking you to do vs what the world says a productive day is.

Patiently wait. This can be the hardest. Especially living in a microwave generation. We ask, and the world gives. God however desires relationship. The journey, he desires to partner with us to accomplish His will. {WHAT AN HONOR!!!}

And remember the holy grail is not having a husband, children, or a family. While being given the opportunity to partner with another human being on this earth is incredible im sure. The ultimate gift is Gods love. Let us NEVER forget the purpose of our life. Is to love God and allow Him to love us back.

Proactively prepare & guard your heart {know your hearts worth}: There is a scripture that talks about not giving your pearls to the swine. Women, this is for you especially. You do not give your heart to any man who says your cute. I repeat, do not give your heart away for free to the first man who compliments you. This compliment can be about looks, your ministry, and so on. The heart is a very precious thing. The man who gets your heart should be a man who understands the worth of your heart and has worked hard to hold it. {This does not mean making the said man jump through hoops}

Proactively assess how your heart is: Give your burdens to the Lord. Be honest. Its okay to be weak, its okay to admit you don’t like being single, or you are offended at the Lord for not being in a relationship. Just make sure that is not your focus. Our focus is to be on Jesus. But it is however important for us to work out the heart issues that we may have in our heart towards Jesus/God.

Remember in the waiting its not all about you. So many times you hear women, I myself am guilty of saying this. Where is he God, why can’t he hurry up. But then I am reminded God is doing His PERFECT work in this man as well.

Wow. I didn’t mean to write so many but hopefully it blessed you. Please remember I am NOT trying to come with a ten step program to go from being single to married. The fact is not all marry. period. BUT, we have a love that is greater than any earthly human can offer. This blog entry is merely a reminder to those seeking marriage, do it proactively, but let the man do the searching.


Kymberly Janelle