Single or dating I encourage you.

I began writing on the group page on fb for the OneThing Intern Alumni and a status update began getting longer and longer and longer until I realized I need to blog what I was starting to write. So here it goes. I just want to encourage each and everyone of you who are single AND who are in a relationship. Follow and trust God in all your decisions whether to be single or to date. Do not date simply because you think it is the right thing to do, or that your parents love the person so they must be the right one. In choosing to date someone you must make God first and foremost. You answer to Him. Simply because you are dating someone does not make you better off than someone single. I personally have chosen singleness for over two years. I’ve known the Lord was calling me to it, and I stuck to it. And yes, people did ask me why I choose to not date, the questioned my motives. As if dating/marriage were the holy grail. Let me say it is not. God is! The answer to there questions though was simple for me, I needed more of God DESPERATELY and it had been a platform for me as a single woman who loved God to declare my love for him and show that life single DOESN’T SUCK! (excuse my language) But it really didn’t. So to you single guys and gals, keep holding onto the promises that God has for you. He is faithful to keep each other. Never lose hope that God remembers and God hears.

To those who are dating, or considering dating never forget what makes you come alive in God. Look for someone who pushes and challenges you to depend upon God first and foremost. Find someone who will fight for you to the death. Find someone who chooses to see you and love you as Christ loves you. Find someone who loves God more than you. Find that person, and you have found a good one. Remember that relationship is about you and that person and God. No other person defines your relationship, not society, not the church, no one. Let no one define what perfection is. Only Christ was and is. Your spouse will never be perfect, but the man or woman who knows there desperate need for God is a good one.

To sum it up, trust God in his leading. Whether it be for singleness for this season, or dating. Trust that what He has is good. Rushing into a relationship because you want to “be in love” or get married only causes harm. And might I remind you should already be in love, madly, deeply, head over heels in love with a man who died for you. I know I am. How about you?

So will you journey will me into a lifestyle called faith in trusting God in our relationships? 

And really ladies, being single is a beautiful time you have with the Lord that you will never have back again. I know I am soaking up every moment of it, I don’t know how long singleness will last for me personally but that is not what my concern is. My hope is not in one day marrying a man, my hope is in Christ Jesus.

Don’t let a moment go by that you do not live in fully alive.

“State your intentions please”


It is so strong on my heart to see men and women acting in accordance to how God intended singleness unto marriage to look like.

Tonight I have been reading some amazing articles after googling “christian dating”. I was pleasantly surprised at this amazing series in particular on singleness & dating as a Christian. I would highly suggest reading the following articles all the way through!

Stop Test-Driving your girlfriend

Real Men Risk Rejection

Brother you’re like a Six

Not your Buddy

A man should be required to state his intentions for a woman. If you are allowing him to be your best buddy & have your time/energy. He doesnt need to work for you, he already has your time, attention, energy. {Want to add, that the male on the receiving side may or may not acknowledge that he has this from you. Whether he does or not does not determine how you are to act.} I want to say this in bold because you are not to hand over to just any man let alone every man your heart, time, energy however this DOES NOT MEAN you are to make men jump through hoops women! What it does mean is that you have an understanding of your worth. You realize that you are a beautiful creation that is to be honored and respected. You are to be living for one man Jesus whether single or married. When your eyes are fixed upon Him, the man will need to make his intentions known because you should be so wrapped up in gazing at the one that you almost don’t recognize or notice him in a sense. I remember describing the process in which a man & women should begin a relationship from the womans perspective to a friend who was struggling with this very issue.

In your life you are to seek first the kingdom of God, gazing at the beauty of this man, exalting His name. Suddenly there is a man standing next to you, you notice him but go back to worshipping. Before you know it you and this man are running in sync towards the same prize and pretty soon you encouraging, pushing each other to reach higher than possible before. You realize that with this person you are able to do more for the kingdom, you are able to run harder, faster, you are able to endure more together rather than apart.

I would dare you to believe that God can and will fulfill every longing, every desire within your heart. That he will purify each and every one of those desires for his glory. Instead of leaning on the crutch of loneliness, and giving your time, energy, and heart away to a man who has not yet earned it give it all to Jesus. Trust Him that he will allow the right man to step in and ask when the time is right {yes, the man may not actually act upon the lords prompting for a good month or two or six, but remember he is human. This is where praying for your future spouse comes in;} It is so important as a woman to allow the man to pursue, for the man to initiate the relationship {whether that be asking you out on an official date, or having “the talk”}. God created men to lead, as a godly woman it is your duty to allow the man to be who God created him to be. Make him man up. You will not get in a relationship quicker if you choose to spend all your time with a man who has no intention of a serious relationship, you will instead most likely find yourself crying out to God confused & hurt. So bypass that and do it the God way. Seek God.

{I am sure I will blog on being pursued another day, because that is a whole ‘nother topic in itself.}


Kymberly Janelle