The Purse} Finding God in the day to day

{yes that is the young girl in the story. Doesn’t that smile melt your heart}

I work as a nanny. Working with children is like being given the fathers heart for a child which you yourself have not born. Yesterday I stumbled upon a principle of Gods love in an everyday situation with one of the girls I nanny. It was the simplest of scenarios, but I believe when you ask God to reveal Himself that is where He does it. In the everyday, in the so-called mundane of life. If you don’t stop and breathe for a moment you may just miss the amazing oppurtunity to love, to see love flourishing right before your eyes, and in your very heart.

I was sitting on the couch and needed something from my purse. I knew the young girl loved being able to help me get things; especially my purse, so I asked her if she would get it for me. As she did I affirmed her that she was so strong to be able to get it and when she brought it all the way to me I thanked her for doing so.

Now, was I unable to get my purse? No. But I knew the joy that it brought this young girl and out of the overflow of love that I have for her I wanted to partner with her to get accomplished what I needed. I love seeing her face light up when I ask her to help me with things. Additionally, by this young girl getting my purse for me did she gain anymore of my love? Was she able to prove her worth through this task? NO WAY. I love her. How well she did it was not the point. Being older, and taller I automatically have the advantage of being able to do a “better job” at this task than her no matter what. I was not grading her on how well she did it.That was not the point. The point was partnering with this girl whom I love to accomplish what I need but moreover bringing joy to her and being able to affirm her in her abilities.

After she brought me the purse it dawned on me, what a beautiful representation of the love that Father God has towards you, towards me, towards each and everyone of His children. He chooses to partner with us not based on need. But out of the overflow of His heart. He desires partnership, relationship. Those tasks that I do, He knows I may very well fail. But he see’s the excitement it brings me to do it. He also sees the frustration, and doubt that may arise while doing the task. But being Abba God He knows that it can be done. My heavenly father is not surprised when I “mess up” or when I don’t quite make the mark. He knows what is required. He knows the end from the beginning. There is no surprising God.

My prayer is that today you too would see God in the everyday. Because He is there. He is at work within you, He is reaching for you.




I love this image. I did not take it. Photo credit goes to dear inspiration. It prompts so many thoughts, emotions, questions. Like :

  • How willing am I to go down into the valley of weeping before I reach the top?
  • How much am I willing to let go of?
  • Do I trust Him with all that I am.

Just like in this image you have to go down first before you go up. Many times I find myself eager to reach the top, but forget that to get there brokenness, letting go must occur.



Is there anything more beautiful?


Vision is the governor of our heart, time, energy. Without vision boredom and idleness strikes. No one likes to be bored, we were not created to be bored, we were created to be fascinated! So when people find themselves feeling bored they will find something to do. Its simple. Bored. Find something to do. It’s what that something is that determines our dedication to our life vision, or lack thereof.
Most people have all heard this, and sometimes said it themselves:
“What do you wanna do?” “I dunno what do you wanna do?” …
It is in those moment that sin slips much easier undetected if that person lacks vision for there life. How? Because without vision there is a lack of boundaries. When people have a vision for there life they have a {mental or physical} list of what it will take to accomplish that vision. Within that plan they make boundaries of what they will and will not do to make sure that they don’t come off track. For example, an olympic athlete has to train; and not just for an hour a day but hours. With that they have to say no to hanging out with people, they will miss opportunities to hang out with people. They will have to say no to going out late at night so they don’t miss there early morning training session. They are allowing there vision to restrain them in a healthy way.
As Christians we must find our vision within God. To keep that vision we will have to pay costs to keep our heart before God. To not hand it out to the next passerby who shows interest, or to the lusts of this age. We are called to give ourselves faithfully to this journey, this race called life.
Lord help me to cultivate relationship with you at a deeper level that I would find vision IN you for my life and refrain from lesser pleasures for the sake of obtaining the fullness of which you have for me in this age and the age to come.

“Without vision people perish, without dreams hearts die”




{The choice}




Its a rainy day. Perfect time to blog. Its been a couple weeks since I have actually blogged on my life here. So here we go. There are less than 50 days until I graduate from the OneThing internship here at International House of Prayer. When they said the last half goes by quicker than first half they were right!


With the graduation fast approaching I have found myself trying to come up with what I should do with my time after internship. Ideas ran rampant in my mind, I could start one of the business’s I’ve always wanted to, I could be a nanny in the third richest town in the United States, there are plenty of oppurtunities here to make money and live well. But I didn’t have a peace about any of the things. {Reminds me back in May before I left for internship and I asked God what I would be doing after the internship and I felt like he said you have no idea, well He was right, as always;}{ See that blog entry here;)}.

So the last couple months when I have asked God what after the internship looked like, He didn’t answer the question directly {I think about the bible and when Jesus spoke directly to the people hearts who were asking Him questions, instead of answering question directly}, he instead asked me these two questions repeatedly.


‘Can you trust me up to the last minute’


‘Can you leave it all behind?’


He couldn’t possibly mean it, right? God didn’t actually want me to leave behind everything I had worked so hard for? Right?  {Insert me hoping I was repeatedly feeling the wrong impression} But, Yep. That is exactly what He was asking of me. Apart of my personality, I am one who plans ahead, WAY ahead. It’s a strength I believe the Lord equipped me with. But in our strengths we can sometimes forget our need for the Lord in our daily lives, and life goals because we get so good at doing things for ourselves. God was and is desiring to strip me of that false security. He is asking me to completely depend upon Him. Trusting that He can do far beyond anything I personally could come up with. I am beginning to see little glimpses of Gods provision for me.

And each time they are so divinely orchestrated that there is no denying its from God, I had no play in His plans unfolding except for my weak yes to His questions ‘can you trust me?’.

So here I am halfway across the country literally in the middle of no were, without my car, without a job, without the ‘extras’ that I love having {you know those things that make a home}. Sitting in the prayer room, I find God asking me again. Can you trust me? Can you believe that your prayers move mountains? I find God asking me to spend most of my time doing the opposite of what the world says is wise or smart to do. But to God it is success. It is growing in deeper intimacy with Him, it is partnering with His heart for the nations, it is learning who I was created to be.

Becoming an intercessory missionary was so NOT on my radar of things I wanna do with my life, or had a desire to do until coming here I would get those twinges of ‘this is what I was made for’ when I would be sitting in the prayer, and worshipping. But I would push them away, thinking I couldn’t possibly be called to this. Back in high school I use to make fun of missionaries, thinking it was pointless and now I find myself drawn to not only being a missionary, but an intercessory missionary. Kinda funny when you think about it. {For those wondering what an intercessory missionary is Go HERE for an awesome description written by one here at IHOP-KC}

In this season of my life I feel like the Lord was asking me to lay down my talents, my dreams of starting business’s, traveling the world…To leave behind my family and friends to seek Him even deeper than the last 4+ months. To trust Him. Now its one thing to live on a mission base and spend most of your time praying and worshipping God for 6 months apart of an internship, but to apply it to ‘real life’ and make it your main goal, that is a whole different story.To lay down my strengths before Him and allow Him to arise in His strength in my life for His glory. Its ‘easy’ to get a job, start a business, find a place to stay. But its alot harder {at least for me} to allow all this to be divinely orchestrated by God. And that is just what He is doing. Redefining my definition of success, and continually reminding me at the end of the age ITS ALL ABOUT LOVE.





{Uncreated Love}


my love is weak

my faith is small

my courage never seems to last long enough

uncreated love is who you are

would you blow on the flames of love in this heart you created

show me that this can last

your love is uncreated

it always was

and always will be

for eternity you are love

you have traded me my weakness for your strength

you have given me your power to conquer all

uncreated love

take me away in your love




{Lens of Love}


The lens through which God looks is so different from the one I see through. He doesn’t see through sin, or through the pain, and betrayal that life experiences bring He doesn’t expect it to be what it’s showed itself to be in the past. Nor does He hold unattainable standards for what love looks like. His view of love isn’t based on circumstances or any man made mindsets.

Instead He simply loves.

He doesn’t love me any less when I fail over and over all within an hour.

He doesn’t love me anymore if I follow Him in perfect obedience

Nothing surprises Him.

Nothing hinders Him.

He simply loves.

His lens is pure, righteous, holy passionate love.



{Default Button}


Our default button: the mindset/paradigm we have towards ourselves (especially in weakness)

A desire of Gods heart is that we would know His feelings toward us and stand firm in them rooted as tree {Psalm 1:3} no matter our life circumstances. There’s a little something I like to call our human default button, this is were our thoughts go to instantly after something happens in our lives especially in times of weakness and sin. Many times after we find ourselves compromising we flash to an image of an angry God, to feelings of shame, guilt, condemnation, denial, pride, the list could go on and on.
God however desires that our default button would be shaped not by circumstances but by how He see’s us. So how does He see us? Well Songs 4:9 paints a picture of our beloved (Jesus) declaring that we “have ravished His heart”. Later in Songs 6:5 he says “Turn your eyes away from me, For they have overcome me.”
Dwell on that for a minute.
Whatever you have done today. Or maybe you haven’t done anything today, this is for YOU!
God is so overwhelmed in love for you, that with one look at Him He is undone. It sounds like something out of a fairytale, but this is better than a fairytale. THIS IS OUR REALITY. God has a Holy jealous love for us, He wants so badly for you and Him to be united in love as He had originally intended when He created Adam and Eve that He sent Jesus to bridge the gap. This is how we can stand in confidence that He see’s us as righteous. Jesus’ blood covers us. WE CANNOT DO A STINKING THING TO CHANGE HIS LOVE FOR US. Jesus did it all. He has reedemed those of us who have accepted this free gift called salvation.

His love is not and cannot be swayed by anything we do, meaning striving will get you no were but drained of energy and bitter. His love is not based on our performance. When I wake up; He is staring at me {whether I remember to say good morning to Him or not}, when I walk to class He is still staring at me waiting to see what I will do next, whenever I remember to say Hi to Him He gets so excited! And when I engage in conversation with Him, and worship Him it puts him over the moon so to speak. Think of it this way, imagine yourself standing on a busy street corner when you see a friend walking towards you, you expectantly begin waiting for them to see you, for that moment when there eyes to lock with yours. It does something in us when someone acknowledges our presence, it makes us feel desired/accepted/loved whether we admit it or not. Our eyes light up, a smile appears on our face, and somekind of physical touch/interaction is usually exchanged whether it be a high five, a hug, or a kiss.
Now replay that situation but imagine the person walking toward you is reading a book not paying attention to who is nearby and doesn’t see you. We can get kinda bummed that the person didn’t acknowledge us.
Here’s the crazy, amazing, beautiful news God doesn’t react like we do. He just keeps staring. He waits patiently until we remember to look up, whether it takes a minute, an hour, a month, a year, or a decade. He is there leaning over the balcony of heaven in love staring back at His creation waiting. To often a picture of an angry God just waiting for us to ‘mess up’ is all our imagination can comprehend. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In order to truly encounter God we must engage in long & loving meditation with a settled heart and mind. Reading the bible however is not merely something to fill us with knowledge, while that is the starting point it cannot and will not fill us. Mike Bickle say it a little something like this in regards to the Song of Songs “No one would go to a famous restraunt to merely study the menu. The menu is there to help them obtain a good meal. It is not enough to be a connoisseur of the Song of Songs, we must allow this book to fill our heart”. We are to fill ourselves with the truth of what Gods says, through that we will find our identity in Him and discover how He sees us, feels towards us is unshakeable.

Do you believe His heart is ravished by you?

Is LOVE your default button or is shame and self-preservation?




John 11:34-36
“The lamp of the Body is the eye. Therefore, when you eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when you eye is bad your body also is full of darkness. Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness. If then your whole body is full of light having no park dark, the whole body will be full of light as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light”

In my daily reading of the gospels I came across this scripture. Somehow I had never really noticed it, or it hadn’t really resignated in me until I began classes here. I was in my ‘burn class’ taught by Corey Russell when he began speaking about what we were created to do. He spoke about how our calling  in this life and the next is one thing, to love God. He expanded upon that by saying We were made to gaze upon the Holy of Holies. We were created behold BEAUTY.

To see,

to feel,

to know BEAUTY.

He began praying for the gates of our eyes to be purified, to gaze upon the Holy one. There are so many forms of immorality with our eye gates. As a woman one of the biggest things I have found in my journey is how hollywood/media suggesting how women should conform to there image of what ‘beauty’ is. Immorality can begin by fantasizing living this lifestyle which is not what God is calling women to. God is calling us to be holy, and set our gaze on holy things. One of the devils biggest scheme is to try and distract men and women from there calling to gaze upon REAL beauty, if and when he accomplishs this humans slowly forget of Gods goodness and faithfullness and humans begin turning  to worldly ‘ pleasures’ to fill this void. Instead of setting there gaze on the Holy one who has infinite joy and ability to fascinate whom we were created to set out eyes upon.

Without continually checking ourselves to make sure what we allow our eyes to see is holy we can find ourselves comparing, settling for less, and undermining the need for holiness in our lives.