to all the single women…i dare you.

 

Women this is for you.

Single women I am speaking to you.

I want to dare you.

I dare you to stare insecurity in the face. I dare you to allow God to face you with your weakness, with your inability to control every circumstance and situation that comes your way. I dare you to acknowledge the fears you’ve associated with being single and with being married.

I once heard Corey Russell say ducktape your foot to the gas pedal and go straight into that wall, because your going to hit it at some point. So just go after it. [The wall being whatever is hindering you from Gods love.] That is exactly what I am daring you single women. I dare you to face your fears in the eye. Those fears of being alone the rest of your life, the insecurities of not being enough.

You are beautiful, you are worth the pursuit. Just because that guy that you are crushing on doesn’t see that does not alter your identity. You are who God says you are. Lovely, Pure, Holy, Beautiful. You ravish His heart with just one glance. What you do for God, you cannot do for any man. What God can do for your heart, no man can do for you.

So before racing into a relationship, or attempting to get your crush to like you. I want to dare you to take a moment, a week, a season, and face whatever you’ve been running from.

I dare you to allow the Lord to purify your heart, you mind, your soul. So that when the day comes that  you are in a relationship there are less walls, less restrictions for the Lord to be able to love that person through you.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is long-suffering. Love does not boast. Love is not self-seeking.

Allow God to write love on your heart. To erase the fears, the doubts, the insecurities. Allow God to be your everything.

I dare you to let God be your all in all.

Why do I make you this dare? Because I took this dare, I take it everyday. I make the choice everyday to allow myself to sit in the gaze of the Lord and allow His burning eyes to purify me. It is choosing to everyday let go of what hinders love in my life. It is knowing that Id be worse off if I held onto my baggage and fears than to encounter the love of God. I dare you because some of you need that prompting, some of you have been waiting for that reminder that it is worth it to let go.

I am writing you as a single woman. I am not writing you this dare while being in a relationship or married. I understand what it means to take this dare. I believe its worth it.

So, again. I dare you. Take some time tonight to release to the Lord what has hindered you. I promise it will be worth it. Let love in 🙂

And remember…

Perfect love casts out fear.

Crushing the fairytale

Women, I want to talk to you about fairytales. Most of us grew up with watching fairytales. We were taught about princess’s and being saved by the bad villain by a chisled modelesque prince who always perservered.

Then we began to grow up, we realized that disney movies may not actually be reality and the men in our lives didn’t always look like those princes’. Yet, deep down in our heart we still longed to be saved. And those movies just fed that desire. However what our eyes were feasting on was the wrong answer. The desire is legitimate. But the answer has always been and will ALWAYS be JESUS. He is the one that ultimately saves us from hell.

  To often we have given into the fairytale dream, thinking that it is reality. That “mr. right” will walk up to us wearing the latest trendiest clothing, saying all the right things, thinking we are perfect, never complaining, having a 6 digit paycheck and a huge 5 carat ring in storage just waiting for us. This ladies & gentlemen is not reality. No matter who you are. We are all sinners, we are all human. Our breath does stink, we don’t always feel like dressing up, we may snap at the other person. But is this terms for writing someone off as the one? It better not be. Otherwise the said person will probably find themselves still single ten years later claiming “the one” still hasn’t come. That is because “the one” is a distant fairytale. We are so quick to come up with a fairytale in our heads of how everything will be sometimes we make a list, sometimes we put walls up and don’t let anyone in unless they meet our requirements. (Unless this is God inspired I don’t suggest lists and especially not walls) God knows who we need. Many times it doesn’t add up to what we imagined. Sometimes it is exactly what we imagined. Either way, our indicator of “the one” doesn’t not make them an option. God is the one that qualifies them.

Real love is beyond a fairytale. Real love is sacrificial, it does not boast, it suffers long, it is patient. Real love hurts. Because when the other one is hurting you hurt with them. Real love does not give up when times get hard. Real love preservers through the lonely moments, through the times of being rejected and it chooses to believe. Real love is only possible through Jesus Christ.

Love needs to have its perfect work in us. Forming us into laid down lovers. Choosing to die to self for sake of the other one to be all that God created them to be.

Love must purify our desires. We must allow Gods refining fire to have its way in our heart. Exposing our sin so that we may lay it at the cross and choose the better.

We must choose to surrender our dreams for His. Now that doesn’t mean our dreams are wrong, but they may not be Gods best for us. I don’t know about you but I want Gods best. I want the full expression of Gods love for me. And I also know that in my almost 26 years of living I have NO IDEA what that means. Somehow in our lives we think we know things, we know about life. But then I take a moment and reflect on how God is eternity, and me in my puny 26 years really doesn’t know all that much. The more I think about it, the more I realize my desperate need to cling to God. Because He truly does know whats best for me. He knows the beginning from the end. He wrote my story. He desires life for me.

So next time your “fairytale” interrupts the possibility of getting to know someone let LOVE interrupt that so called fairytale. You’ve already got a savior. A perfect one at that. Your future husband was never intended to be your savior. He would never, and could never live up to that. Let Holy Spirit speak to you about what makes a real man of God. Let God lead your desires. Not disney.

love.

Kymberly Janelle

My challenge to you. Friends First

We live in a FAST paced culture. Where multi-tasking has become a way of life. From my phone I can access pretty much anything I want. I can book tickets, call someone, and text another friend all at the same time if I wanted. As technology progress’ I am finding as a whole we are wanting things and wanting them right away. Simply because things are available to us simply by the click of a button.

No? Am I wrong?

I know I am guilty of it. When I order my coffee if I have to wait longer than a minute I usually get impatient. I am human. Lord help me! Getting things fast has a time and place. But relationally fast paced isn’t necessarily the way you want to go when you are talking about two people who like each other. With information at the click of a button people can learn so much about us on Facebook, twitter, instagram. It can make being relational an illusion. You can watch someones life play out before you on your computer screen without ever once picking up the phone to say hi, or writing them a letter, or seeing them in person. Which in turn if you do not check yourself, enables you to check out of someones life. [With that said, I am NOT saying technology is bad. I am simply addressing a common issue within this generation that I myself have walked out] This is why I want to challenge those of you getting to know someone unto dating to slow down.

If it is the Lords will for you to be together, it will happen. You don’t have to rush a thing. Slow down, become friends first. Because at the end of the day when you marry that person you are going to want to be married to your best friend. The one you can confide in. Trust in. Not just some beautiful person who thinks you are funny and smart. You need someone who knows your faults and strengths and loves you through it all. There will come a day when the wrinkles are more evident, the stretch marks make there appearance, the hair starts thinning. Skin no longer becomes the thing that draws you in. But rather you will be challenged to ask yourself what about this person do you love? Because if it simply there looks, that is not love. Love is patient, love is kind, love is long suffering. Love has never been, and never will be conditional. Love does not demand perfection. Love lays itself down for the other one. Love waits.

Lust will never survive.

Love always makes a way.

I see it like this; Jesus waiting on that cross- he took every minute of the torture, of the pain so that it would be accomplished. So that He could conquer death for me. So that I could be connected back to God. THAT IS LOVE. Jesus already walked out patience. Waiting a couple months, a couple years is as nothing for me. It is but a drop in the bucket.

If God asked you to wait 10 years could you? If God asked you to wait one month could you?

Of course you could. Nothing is impossible with God. However, it is your choice whether you actually wait. I want to encourage you to do just that. wait.

I wait to challenge you to first love them as brother or sister.

Then, let God awaken love when it is time.

love.

Kymberly Janelle

It started with …

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It started with a chat on facebook. Reminiscing about our time together in the internship, about where the Lord is taking us in life. When I told her “I want to live with you for a month before I get married.”  She agreed this would be a good idea. Less than a month later we decided lets do just that. Not in your typical lets be roomies and move to the same state, but more like lets be roomies by going on a road trip around the United States. You see I told myself before I married I wanted to do some things, while I was still single I wanted to experience life in a way I had only dreamed of. On the road, meeting strangers, praying with them, taking pictures, letting the wind go through my hair with no worries of tomorrow only completely focused on the moment that was right there in front of me.

God hears our prayers. In fact I believe it is a desire the Lord put in me to travel. And in this season I am doing it with an amazing friend of mine, Risa. Her name means laughter. And if you know her you know she lives up to it. Loud laughter and dancing always happens when she is around. She reminds me to live in the moment, to throw your head back {literally} and just BE. This trip I know will mark me, I know that this trip is more than just a road trip but the Lord desires to do something even greater. I know I will come back changed, I know I will leave changed. Deep within me I know that this is somehow the answer to prayers I’ve prayed. So I rest in knowing God is good, he knows what He is doing. So in less than a week I will pick up Risa from the airport and we will begin this journey together. What will happen after the road trip, I think…I know God has a few ‘suprises’ and long coming prayers he is answering. 2011 has been a year of miracles for me. And I expect nothing less for the remainder of the year.

So here is to life. Here is to love.

Both of which I desire to live more fully.

Where I go…dreams really do come true

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As of today it is official I am taking off almost 2 months to travel. I am in between it feels sureal and how am I able to do this/why am I doing this? I know this is exactly what I need. In fact during the internship last year there was a moment where I knew I wanted to travel the world and live with people of different cultures, of different ethnicity’s, with one desire to learn what love is. But I let the dream slip by me. I didn’t actually think I would follow through on this dream. But God has this way of placing dreams in my heart and then by his favor and grace making them happen. This dream re-appeared this month when I was talking with my old roommate from the internship. We began discussing dreams for the future, things we want to do. And then realized we were both in the position to do this. Road trip. Not just for a weekend. But for almost a month. So in less than a month I will be on the road traveling with her traveling the west coast of the united states. Staying with friends, staying with strangers. Visiting places I’ve been before, visiting places I’ve only dreamed of visiting. After a month of traveling I will come back home for two weeks and work. Then, leave again for a week to visit friends IHOP-KC, come back for a week to work and then leave for another week and a half to vacation with the family in Florida. By this time it will be late October. I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me in all this traveling. To be honest I am in a season of hope and excitement, yet I have no idea what is in the next season, guess that shows real faith. Hope in the unseen. My trust lies not in circumstances, not in man. But God.

 I am not quite sure how this will shape me as a person, my business, or my life. All I know is I ‘need’ this. On this trip, I wanna learn what love is at a deeper level. I want to take pictures at a whole other level. I want to learn how to love strangers like God loves them. I want to feel the Lords heartbeat for each and every place we go. I want to stop not just for a moment, but a day, and then another day, and another one and breathe. I want to soak this life in. I want to re-discover what life and love is all about.

And so continues my journey…

seems surreal that this is my life at times. My life in the last year has been that which I thought you only dreamed of, but never really happened. I am learning dreams really do come true.

Blessings.

KJ

“Under Construction”

 “Unless the LORD builds the house,
         They labor in vain who build it;
         Unless the LORD guards the city,
         The watchman stays awake in vain.”

{Psalms 127:1}

I have had so many blog topics, concepts running through my head  this last week geared towards singleness. They  however all came to a standstill when I looked out the window of the coffee shop and I saw road construction.  The road had been ground down; it was now rough, bumpy and then it came to me: “under construction” is what this blog topic would be called.

In the season of singleness this is similar to what we are going through. We are under construction. When you are constructing any type of building there are several phases that it goes through. I believe we can relate these to our walk with the Lord in this season. The first scripture I think of is Psalms 127:1 which says:

 “Unless the LORD builds the house,
         They labor in vain who build it;
         Unless the LORD guards the city,
         The watchman stays awake in vain.”

In our single walk we must make sure that the Lord is building the house {in this case I am referring to you as the house – “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body[a] and in your spirit, which are God’s” –  1 Corinthians 6:19-20}. In Matthew 7:24-27 Jesus tells the parable of the man building His house:

24 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: 27 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

Lets go over the phases it takes in building a house {I condensed it from the list of 25} and how this pertains to our walk with God:

  1.  Staking lot & house: This is completely God. He choose to create us. We had no say in this.
  2. Clearing & Excavation: First the site of where the house will be must be cleared of any debris, they must uproot any trees that do not belong. In our own lives God desires to clear out all things that hinder Him from His plans for our lives. He will uproot any ‘tree’ {ideas, false identities} that we may have about ourselves, God, and the world. This can at times be painful as we feel the Eyes of the Lord searching our hearts for the motives, desires within us. But let us remember the Fear of the Lord is clean. There is no condemnation. He cleans and reveals out of love, to draw us closer to Himself.
  3. Foundation: We must build on a firm foundation, and that foundation is the Word of God. Matthew 7 & 13 outlines what occurs when someone who hears the word of God does not allow it to root down deep. This is our responsibility to meditate, dwell on the Word of God. We are to search for God as silver and gold.
  4. Inspection: This inspection is to see how the progress is coming along. To ensure that there is nothing that was missed in laying the foundation. Many times we will feel as though we are in a time of a heart check. To assess our heart motives as we build this house. We need to make sure that as the house is being build this house we acknowledge it is for GODS glory, not our own. And it is by His power and strength that any of this is made possible.
  5. Framing & Drying & Exterior Siding: Now were there were only beams, there are now walls.  There is now protection from the elements of whats outside to those who dwell inside. In this phase no longer can any passerby, animal just walk into the house. These walls I would call boundaries. As a christian, especially single Christians it is important to have boundaries. To know what the word of the Lord says about our lifestyle. Its not about what is right and wrong, it is about what hinders love.
  6. Roofing: Covering the house is important. Through this phase, the Lord covers us in His love. He is our protection.  Were we were use to protecting ourselves in self preservation mode, we must trust that God can and will do this for us. We must allow Him to be our covering. {Psalm 91}.
  7. Insulation: I like to think of this as Holy Spirit. Its the “filling” of the house. However with Holy Spirit we are to be continually filled.
  8. Flooring & Drywall/Painting & Trim:  That on which we walk on is now being laid. What are you walking on? What have you trusting to uphold you as you walk on it? Hopefully truth. Painting & Trim is also being administered. In this we can tell the house is almost done. Let patience persevere. Let us not grow hasty and believe that we have done the work ourselves. We shine because He shines. We love, because He first loved us. Let us not be blinded by pride when we see the beauty of the house.
  9. Cleanup: There has been minor messes made up to now with the exterior painting, roofing, flooring. We learn who we are in Christ, we learn what is okay for us to wear, how to glorify God through our words… Through this process there will naturally be success’ and failures. Christ is there to help redeem and cleanup any mistakes we have made along the way.
  10. Landscaping: I like to think of this as the treatments Esther went through. The beautification, the preparing herself for the King.
  11. Final Inspections: This is another heart check. An assessment may be made. In my opinion this is where the lord reminds us of our weakness’, our natural tendencies to stray from Him. Now that the ‘final inspection’ is done, let us remember we are never completely done because we are human. We will continually go through His refining fire. This is simply a particular season on the house being built

A reminder about being “under construction” as a single person.

You are not yet ready. There is still building, trim, cleanup that needs to be done. Trying to jump ahead and invite someone into the house when you are on Phase 1 can and will hurt the both of you. This process is vital. And jumping into a relationship without an understanding of who you are in Christ can create pain in both parties.

I hope this helped those of you walking out singleness. As it is a beautiful season to be in. And there is a purpose for it, it is not just a chunk of time of waiting until your future spouse comes along. This is just my interpretation of building a house and how it correlates with our walk with God.

Blessings.

Kymberly Janelle