Why marriage

Why marriage?

That is the question I want to address tonight. First off I want to start with a little backstory about myself. Before I got married I had seasons of life being completely content being single (I am an introvert after all;) and seasons of yearning to spend my life with one person, heck I had been engaged before, thankfully it had been called off!! In the end as I like to call it because my husband is my beginning and end (more on that later) I chose one man to spend my life with, to commit my life to, to marry.

I didn’t chose to just being roommates, or his significant other. I’ve been created in such a way that there is a desire within me to be able to give my all to one person and one person alone and I found another soul who is the same. He loves and feels so deeply, he forgives before I even know I need forgiveness. We are two souls that when we come together make even even better thing. We balance each other out in ways we never knew imaginable. Together we build each other to be able to accomplish so much more than we could alone. Together we make the world a better place. Beyond our relationship, in the workplace, in our friendships we are better.

I chose marriage. But why? How did I know I made the right decision? How do I know if things will work out between us?

I don’t. 

What I do know is that we both made the same commitment to each other. To give our all, to be there for the other person. We promised security, love, devotion, forgiveness, and undying patience that day we married each other. We chose to die to ourselves and lift the other one up.

After many failed relationships, after one to many heartbreaks I knew what my heart needed if I was going to commit myself to one person and I waited for that person to come along. What I saw in my now husband when we first met were sparks of those very things. I believe that as we continue to grow in marriage we will see those things come to life even more. Heck, we have in the last 2.5 years of our marriage. We have both changed so much. More than I think either of us would have ever imagined and while it was hard at first mainly because we were both surprised and trying to figure out all these changes it is a joy to walk through life with someone and see them come alive and discover themselves. It is something we will both continually go through in the seasons of life.

But you HAVE to love that person.

It’s true I have committed my heart, soul, and body to love my husband and by making that commitment I believe it makes me a better person. I have been given the opportunity to grow in love, in patience, in grace towards this person. The patience that my husband shows me is beyond a love that I have ever known. He choses to look past whatever hurt or pain he may be feeling because of something I may have said or done and he chooses to be patient with me in the moment knowing I am going through something holding onto knowing I love him with all that I am and that this pain he is feeling will pass and I will come to my senses (hopefully sooner than later) and forgiveness will be had.

How can another human be your beginning and end?

He is my beginning and my end when it comes to my love story. I chose to commit my life to this man. I chose to give my all to him. He comes first and foremost before my friends and family. He ignited a love in me when I met him that I only dreamt of encountering. He is my end because he is the man I want to see when I take my last breath. I chose this man. I would chose him 100 times over. Not because marriage is easy, not because its the convienent choice. Marriage is hard work, but its the kinda work that the more you do it the “easier” it gets. I use to HATE apologizing, I hating admitting I was wrong, I hated admitting I had hurt him. Now we have gotten to a place in our relationship where I have so much love, and respect for this man it literally hurts me when I hurt him. Where there was resistance to lay down my pride I now willingly run to him asking for forgiveness and reminding him of the love that he so deserves. I chose one man to love because I wanted to fully 100% give myself to someone and that is only possible to give your all to one.

So that’s why I chose marriage. How about you?

I think my next blog post should be about how my husband does not complete me…whatcha think? Thinking a series on marriage may be on the horizon

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Practical tips on how to avoid taking your spouse for granted

We don’t mean to do it, but it can happen and a lot of times it does happen. What is that? Taking our partner for granted.

In my relationship + marriage we have been through some pretty extreme highs and lows. Through it we are coming out learning how to love each other well and live grateful for the role the other one plays in our lives. I thought I would highlight three of my favorite ways to not take my husband for granted.

Don’t assume… Don’t assume he knows you are thankful, or hurt, or happy, or sad. Share with him. This doesn’t mean you need to have a 3 hr tearful talk everyday but keep him in the loop. Same goes for him. Don’t assume he is happy just because he hasn’t said anything.

The question game…Ask him thought provoking questions. I play a little game at bedtime with the kids I nanny and they look forward to it every night. Its called the question game. Each night I choose how many questions we will do. Its typically anywhere between 1-3. That is more than enough. They get to ask me any questions and I get to ask them any questions. The questions typically range from what was your favorite thing you got to do in school or with mom and dad, what did you have for breakfast yesterday, what was the hardest thing you had to do today, what made you mad/sad today? Now I am not saying you need to play this exact game but ask questions beyond just “how was your day?”, “how did work go”. The questions are so open ended. Now with that being said, sometimes for us women thats all we need before we spill the beans of everything we did that day. haha. I have been guilty of this.

Thank him…It is so easy to get caught up in the responsibility of day to day . Even if taking out the trash is his responsibility don’t hesitate to thank him for doing it. The more you thank him the more you will see how much he really does do around the house. Even if he still doesn’t understand how to put his socks in the hamper sitting 6″ from them lying on the floor 😉

I would love to hear how help yourself not to take your spouse for granted.

Whitening teeth with Activated Charcoal

whiten your teeth with charcoal

When I first saw a facebook friends post about wellness mama’s post on whitening teeth with activated charcoal I KNEW I had to try it. I LOVE white teeth. Unfortunately my teeth are sensitive and me and whitestrips do not work well. The bleach kills my gums aka horrible shocks of pain run through my gums when I have whitestrips on. So I have been looking for some way to whiten them that is not as harmful but still does the trick. So why activated charcoal? Well charcoal naturally absorbs chemicals, toxins, and stains. So when you put it on your teeth it naturally pulls out/absorbs the stains. The reason it is a supplement is for food poisoning, gas, bowel movements when pregnant, hangovers…

Pinterest has tons of articles on using baking soda and lemon- however I have seen so many posts on how damaging it can be because of the lemon so I have held off of that.

So this week I went to Sprouts. They just so happened to be having a 25% off sale on all vitamins and supplements. I had to ask the woman in the supplements section where it was. She quickly found it. It comes in two forms, powder OR in capsules. I chose the capsules. Again, this is an actual supplement. This is NOT charcoal from your grill.

Btw, it only cost me $7.99.

So that night I broke open a capsule, I have found just snipping the top CAREFULLY with scissors works best. I put a lysol wipe down, then a tissue and then lay my toothbrush on top. Once you break open the capsule I pour it on my toothbrush and brush for 2-3 minutes. I also just let the charcoal sit on my teeth for 3-5 minutes. When you spit you will get black charcoal all over but don’t worry it comes off super easy with a lysol wipe.

whitening teeth with charcoal

My before and after. Before any activated charcoal – 3 days later (brushing with activated charcoal once a day x 3 days)

Btw, it is really hard to a) take pictures of your teeth b) take pictures of your teeth in the exact same light.whitening teeth with charcoal

 I honestly don’t really see any difference in my teeth. With that being said, its only been three days. The articles I have read have said in a week you will notice a difference.

On a scale of 1-10 my teeth naturally are about an 8. I would say after using the charcoal for three days my teeth are now about 8.5. I do think it is pulling the stains out. However my teeth are not crazy stained so I am not getting drastic results like others may. I think that this would really work for someone who has major stains on there teeth. With that being said, I will be having my husband try this next week. My teeth overall are fairly white naturally. I just have noticed in the last year or so a little staining from drinking coffee everyday. What I will say is my teeth feel so incredibly clean, healthy clean. Regardless of whether or not I see results right away I do think its working to pull out the stains. I will post a picture in a week of any changes and in a month I will update you with my husbands results and if it whitened my teeth anymore.

Have you whitened your teeth with charcoal? How did it go?

**** Update 1/25/2015:

We tried it on my husband and barely saw any difference it any at all. I am totally disappointed that this did not work better if at all. On to another at home teeth whitening idea. Fortunately it only cost $7. If you have had success with this I would love to hear how you did it, and for how long.

Christmas Eve with the Rubeos | 2014

This was such a good year. I am so thankful that we have my husbands family so close to be able to celebrate holidays with. Having my family halfway across the US definitely makes me even more grateful for the little things here.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning were wonderful. Christmas Eve for the past three years (since I met my now husband) we have the tradition of going with his family to their church for Christmas Eve, then dinner back at their house or out to eat. This year we switched it up and went back to their house and are going out to eat tonight because the restaurant we voted on to go to was not open Christmas Eve.

I LOVE this time of year. My husband had just gotten a twelve string guitar so he was playing that the entire evening when we got back home with the family singing along.

Here are a few snapshots from Christmas Eve.

christmas eve night with life with kymberly janelle

 

Hair Transformation: Going platinum blonde

For those that JUST follow my blog I just realized I haven’t posted my before and after pictures of my hair transformation from June to now. I am OBSESSED with my hair now. Before I loved the long hair but my hair lays so flat that I have to do something with it everyday or its just plain jane boring. My husband had been asking everyday almost for me to cut it. He is the 1% of men that LOVES short hair. (SWEET!) So I chopped it. A lot of it! And I loved it, so I thought lets chop even more off. So I did, and I HATED it. I don’t mean like oh man I don’t really like it. I mean like ball my eyes out when I get home, I feel ugly. OUI. What is up with us as women and our hair?!? Well my husband assured me I was beautiful, meanwhile I was praying and praying for it to supernaturally grow and quick. When your hair is short, it seems like it NEVER grows. Finally I started to come to terms with the short, short hair. Let’s just say the selfies were few and far between or I was hiding my hair the the selfies during this faze this fall. Then I met my new hairstylist and we talked about how I had always wanted to go platinum. Her responce? WHY NOT? So that is just what we did and can I say I love, love, love it. I had people of course telling me not to do it, saying it would kill my hair, that its horrible for my hair, saying its a ton of upkeep and so on… I had to laugh. If I was 16 wanting to go platinum blonde and attempting to with a box I would probably yell stop at myself too. I am almost 30 years old. I think I know by now what is good and bad for my hair. I have been almost every color (redhead, black, brown, highlights, streaks, blonde…) Anyways, my hair stylist was INCREDIBLE. She is the ONLY ONE I would ever trust to transform me to platinum blonde. Instead of throwing bleach on my head like most hairstylists she loved on my hair for 5.5 hours and did back to back foils and the most beautiful white blonde appeared. She used a special treatment on my hair that helps keep my hair strong and I am happy to report none of my hair fell out,  my hair is still healthy and strong, and shinier than ever thanks to coconut oil and purple shampoo.

Now I have short hair, if you have long hair, good luck convincing your stylist to do this to your hair. My head was crazy heavy. there were literally HUNDREDS of foils.

going platinum blonde going platinum blonde

I would HIGHLY suggest this if you are wanting to go platinum. With that being said, most hairstylists will NOT do this because of how long it takes. People said it would be a pain to upkeep. How I look at is my hair is an instant statement piece. I don’t have to do a thing to it and it looks amazing. I just throw on some mascara and lipstick and I am good to go. Yes, I will be going to the hair salon more than I did before but for me that is a GOOD thing to have some me time. I don’t take enough time for me. So…. what do you think?

Making time for dates.

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Dates for me are important. They make me come alive. Quality time has become one of my top 3 love languages in the last year or two. Having uninterrupted time together is so valuable to me. As a photographer it is so easy to be at the computer till midnight, and to not have weekends to myself, let alone with my husband. This weekend we made sure to cut out some “us time”.

I am easy when it comes to dates. I don’t need a lot. Just some good food and my husband. Church got out early sunday, so we headed to Jimmy Johns (yes, my husband converted me since we got married from Subway to Jimmy Johns;) grabbed sandwiches and headed down the street to one of our favorite parks. We had an hour to hangout before my husband had to head back home to change for soccer. An hour may not seem like alot, but when you are intentional with the other person an hour is like heaven.

It is so important to me to be intentional with my husband when we are together while we do not have children. I do not want to take these days for granted. 

 

I would love to hear how are you intentional in dating your spouse? What do you do?

My friday finds…

This week has been so productive and plain FUN!! I had two days off to spend with my husband. I have had tons of time with friends [including a craft day today making fall and christmas decor] and lots of fun shopping finds. This is the week of free and sales for me. My heart is full.

So I thought I would share two of my favorite scores this week:

Shopping at Michaels:

Yesterday was an amazing sale day. With it being halloween ALL fall and halloween decor was 80% off at Michaels. I walked out with 5 bags totaling only $26!! If I were you, I would head over to your local Michaels and check it out!

Online Freebie:

I have been following Lara Casey for awhile. I was so excited when I won a free print of hers. [THIS ONE HERE] It now sits framed in our kitchen. Well I was reading through Lara’s website/blog and noticed one of her friends Emily Ley, who just so happens to have some incredible design talent and has a ton of FREE phone wallpapers. You better I believe I downloaded a couple of them right away.  Go HERE to get yours! She has some other amazing freebies HERE too. Let her know I sent you if you download anything!

[P.S. Lara also has some AMAZING desktop/iphone/ipad wallpapers for free too!! Go HERE]

EmilyLey-iPhoneWallpapers-01