The sting

My heart was convinced I’d be healed by now

Yet here I sit still gasping for breath

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be

The pain was supposed to have left

Yet it lingers like a paper cut

Stinging with every movement

You promised me better

This feels nothing like that as I stand in the fire again

But I trust your words over my fears

This suffering will leave

Tomorrow will come

And as the sun rises,

hope will breathe its breath over me

Divorce isn’t a cut and dry, wipe your hands of it and you’re done. (Yet so many have a fantasy that it is.) It’s a daily realization when I look at my son, it’s a bi-weekly reminder when I see them at pickups.  The question “WHY?” trails behind me daily as I see other couples, as I see my ex and his gf, as I see words not matching actions from men over and over again in my life. The WHY swirls around every horrific memory of my ex and I. The WHY can become a tornado of emotions that threaten to take me away, and there in that place I am gently reminded to pour it all out at His feet. I cannot handle these emotions that try to take me out. But He can. He willingly offered to.

The onslaught of trauma that raged its war in my life starting with my mom passing, two grandparents passing and ending in a divorce and becoming a single parent all in five years had me thinking the worst was over. It had to be right?! That my utter dependence upon God would somehow lessen. Yet here I sit desperately needing God just as much today as I did when I was married, and as I did when I was first saved. Dependence on God is actually faith in motion. It is showing that you are willing to lay it all down at His feet and trust that He not only can but is willing to make something beautiful of this disaster zone you’ve set before Him. I’ve come to understand human frailty much more over the years as I realize we’re not as strong as we imagine ourselves to be. Coupled with the lies society keeps selling us that we are stronger than what the world throws at us. No we aren’t!! That’s why we NEED a savior. He is strong where I am weak.

God knew humans would fail humans.

He knew that my heart would break into a million pieces over and over and over and over again because of man’s inability to be true to his own word and believe the lies of the accuser.

He also knew that His word has never failed. He knew He had an answer. He stands confident on that answer and promise and invites us to do the same.

God has walked next to me every step of the way proving His faithfulness to me, giving me hope to believe. He led me through what seemed to be mazes some seasons. The majority of the last year has been me saying “I don’t understand”. Confusion tried to steal the joy of what could be, and of what God has for me because let’s be real when you don’t have answers for people’s behavior it’s hard to fully let it all go. But that’s not faith. Faith surrenders what it sees for what love has spoken is promised to come.

His words to me have been simple the past couple months. “Be still and know.” My heart thinks it knows best but when He speaks I am reminded of how completely out of this world He thinks and sees.

The other night I told the Lord what I probably have said everyday at least twenty times a day for the past couple weeks “I don’t know what to do”. Holy spirits reply was simple “Be with me.” I felt myself begin to get angered, and the accusation almost spilled out from my lips “but don’t you see God?!”…and before the words tumbled out I saw a picture in my minds eye of Jesus in communion with God on His knees before He was betrayed, before He was led away to the cross and then I felt the whisper of Holy spirit say to me

“If it was enough for unto death, its enough for you tonight”.

Lets just say mic drop.

He guides in wisdom and in truth. The truth stings sometimes, okay a lot of the time. But its that purifying fire that enables us to reach past what we know and see into the realm of impossibilities. When we can partner with the one who in one breath can form worlds we are launched into something new. That which seemed impossible is now possible. That diagnosis that was deadly is now bending its knee to the name of Jesus. That lie you’ve believed the past 25 years, gone. You make all things new.

And there you stand

faithful and true to every word spoken

Amidst the rubble of what others have left behind

You are there helping me clean it all up

Nothing is too big or small for you

This limp I never want to lose

It reminds me of everytime you rescued me

Some want the perfect picture

I just want truthful words that remind others of who you really are

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Immune Boosting Protein Balls

Flu season is in full force in the midwest since christmas and I am trying to up everything we do so we both don’t get sick.

If you follow me on instagram you know I am obsessed with pb protein balls. Well I decided to play around with recipe and add some flavor and immune boosting to it by adding my young living vitality oils. Yep, you heard me correct. You can ingest oils. But not all oils. Young living makes oils specifically for this. So please do not go to walmart and buy oils and put them into your food. I decided to also add cinnamon bark and nutmeg to give them a fall taste. Oils are very potent so just make sure you are paying attention and don’t accidentally add more drops.

So how are they immune boosting? I add thieves oil to these balls. Thieves is known to boost immune systems in adults and children. It can help aid in sore throats, gums, ease head tension, and respiratory support.

While you’re at it put some thieves in the diffuser for a double punch.

I had a very cute “helper” while taking pictures 😉

Immune Boosting Protein Balls

1 c oats

1/2 c Peanut Butter

1/3 c honey

2 TB Chia Seeds

1/3 Flaxseed

Coconut Flakes [Optional]

1-2 TB Sunflower Seeds

2 TB Dried Cranberries

1 drop of Young Living Thieves oil

Optional: Add oils for more flavor: Nutmeg + Cinnamon Bark [ONLY USE ONE DROP OF EACH]

I suggestion trying balls after one drop of thieves to see what you like. 

Mix all ingredients together in bowl. Use spoon to scoop mixture out and roll into balls. Refrigerate and then eat!

Want to get some thieves oil? Email me at: hello@kymberlyjanelle.com and I can add some to my order for you!

A few of my favorite things to live that oily life

I realized this past week that I have never shared what products I use outside of the oils I purchase from Young Living to live that oily life that I am so d*mn proud of. So here I am. Sharing my favorite things to buy on amazon so you can use your oils for EVERYTHING.

Clear Oil Shelf Holder: $13.99
Wool Dryer Balls: $7.99/6pk

16 oz Carrier oil: $12.33
Carrier oil for face: $13.97/4oz

10ml roller bottles: $5.95/6pk
16oz Amber glass Spray Bottle (for cleaner): $6.75
4oz Amber glass spray bottle (for bathroom + linen sprays): $13.59/6pk
50 pk sample drams: $10.65

 

I have all my oils on this table. Its the perfect entryway table and fits perfectly in a corner in our apartment. $63.32

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Friday roundup

Hey there everyone hope your week has been good. Its time for a friday roundup!

What Gods been speaking this week….Understanding + Uncertainty

This week I’ve been dealing with alllll the 2.5 year old ‘tude around sleep time and its been STRETCHING. One night this week I was talking to God while Isaac just didn’t wanna go to bed and with frustration in my voice
“God you are really stretching me, I really don’t understand what you are trying to do” He simply replied “Is that what its about? Understanding?”. Furiously I replied “Yes, yes it WAS” and then it hit me. That WAS how I had operated. For so long I had refused to step out if I didn’t understand what God was doing. Sure, we know in our heads that isn’t faith in action but when it comes down to living life sometimes we forget we were never promised security or understanding. It is impossible to understand all He is doing because we are not God, but when we know the character of Father God we can rest. Thank God for His faithfulness to remind me. God was doing EXACTLY what I had just spoken. Stretching me beyond what I understand into where He can really do something. Kris Valloton recently said “If you don’t have an uncertain situation in your life you’re not doing anything for God.” It was the perfect reminder that I am EXACTLY where I need to be. Gods kingdom is so upside down from how we would ever chose to live. While we say we want to go out and try new things so often our comforts and securities lull us to sleep to hum the same old song when God has something new for us that will bring life to us in a way we never knew that was possible. God in His limitless abilities is not trodden down by fear, this is where He invites us. Into His heart where the dreams for each of us surpass anything we can dream of. In His heart we are able to rest knowing He loves us.

Favorite new product

After I posted about this Avocado saver that I was given by a friend my DM’s started blowing up with oh my gosh I need this. So I found a 2pk on amazon for y’all right HERE and its under $10!! anytime I can eliminate using plastic wrap or plastic baggies I am all for it.

New recipe of the week:

We tried a new recipe this week for zucchini, carrot and banana muffins and they were a massive hit. As in Isaac and I both had 3 muffins within a couple hours of making them kinda hit. My favorite muffins we’ve made are hands down my sweet potato muffins but these come in a close second. If you missed the sweet potato muffin recipe you can find it HERE. Check out the zucchini, carrot, banana muffin recipe HERE.

What was “suppose to happen” this week:

I was suppose to get my arm piece finished up this week on thursday but when I was ten mins away from tattoo shop I got a call that they needed to reschedule. So expectantly awaiting next week to get it finished. Its been two years in the making!!

Two favorite blog posts past two weeks:

(according to you the readers + followers)

Favorite Jeans for Tall women : Technically they are jeggings, BUT these are jeans in my book and I’ve been proudly wearing them for two years now. Thank you American Eagle.

My three favorite skin products: You all are LOVING the info on the jade roller. I even linked to a rose quartz roller that is BEAUTIFUL.

Favorite Outfits this week

The weather in the midwest has been interesting as of late. We’ve had a couple of 60 degree weather days where I am almost, I said ALMOST tempted to wear a dress but lord knows my legs are pale as winter so thats not happening. haha. Then we have days like today that are 21 degrees when I go out to warm up my car. A couple of my favorite things that I have been wearing and found are my FAVORITE mens gray button up cardigan from H&M. I wear this at least 3 days a week. I wear a medium and I am an XS/S in women’s. Its perfectly slouchy and the sleeves are long enough for this long arm’d mama

I’ve been wearing my suede high waist skirt from banana republic and am obsessed. I found a version thats $10. I wore it to church last weekend with black leggings and my elbow sleeve turtleneck  (its currently $6.49!!)with my favorite tan booties from Dillards.

I’ve been rocking my black panama hat as of late. Funny because I had it in my bag to donate for the last couple months and then just before I donated the bags I realized nope I still love this hat. AND I’ve been wearing it every week since then. haha. Please tell me you’re guilty of the same thing! I linked two versions of hat.

Zucchini, carrot and banana muffin recipe

Muffins are one of Isaacs absolute favorite things to eat. Our favorite muffins hands down my sweet potato muffins these zucchini muffins though come in second. We both scarfed down three within 3 hours of making them. They are not as sweet as the sweet potato ones but equally delicious. These DO have sugar in them but you don’t really taste it. Next time I make them I may totally axe the sugar since we didn’t taste it. Or if you don’t mind the sugar and want them sweeter I would double what I have the recipe using.




Muffins are one of Isaacs absolute favorite things to eat. Our favorite muffins hands down my sweet potato muffins these zucchini muffins though come in second. We both scarfed down three within 3 hours of making them. They are not as sweet as the sweet potato ones but equally delicious. These DO have sugar in them but you don’t really taste it. Next time I make them I may totally axe the sugar since we didn’t taste it. Or if you don’t mind the sugar and want them sweeter I would double what I have the recipe using.

ZUCCHINI, CARROT AND BANANA MUFFINS

3 cups flour
1/2 c sugar
2 tsp cinnamon OR 1 drop of cinnamon bark YL oil
1 tsp ground cloves
optional: 1 tsp nutmeg or 1 drop of nutmeg YL oil
2 1/4 tsps baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
3/4 tsp baking powder
3 cups carrots, peeled and grated [3 large carrots]
2 cups zucchini, grated [2 small zucchini]
1 c mashed, ripe banana [2 bananas]
3 eggs
1/2 c vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS
Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl. Set to the side.

In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, and oil.

In a large bowl, mix together the carrots, zucchini, and bananas. Pour the liquid egg mixture over the grated vegetables and bananas, and fold in gently to combine. I suggest using spatula, do NOT use your mixer. You want to make sure the flour is completely mixed in.

Scoop the batter using 1/3 c measuring cup into greased muffin tins.

Bake for 15-18 minutes at 375 degrees.

ENJOY

Yields: 24 muffins


ZUCCHINI, CARROT AND BANANA MUFFINS

3 cups flour
1/2 c sugar
2 tsp cinnamon OR 1 drop of cinnamon bark YL oil
1 tsp ground cloves
optional: 1 tsp nutmeg or 1 drop of nutmeg YL oil
2 1/4 tsps baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
3/4 tsp baking powder
3 cups carrots, peeled and grated [3 large carrots]
2 cups zucchini, grated [2 small zucchini]
1 c mashed, ripe banana [2 bananas]
3 eggs
1/2 c vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS
Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl. Set to the side.

In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, and oil.

In a large bowl, mix together the carrots, zucchini, and bananas. Pour the liquid egg mixture over the grated vegetables and bananas, and fold in gently to combine. I suggest using spatula, do NOT use your mixer. You want to make sure the flour is completely mixed in.

Scoop the batter using 1/3 c measuring cup into greased muffin tins.

Bake for 15-18 minutes at 375 degrees.

ENJOY

Yields: 24 muffins

Favorite Jeans for tall women

This post is NOT sponsored by American Eagle. I found these jeans a freaking love them and can’t not share them.

Okay if you are like me and are all legs listen up. After two years of wearing these american eagle leggings these are hands down my FAVORITE jeans to wear as someone who has long legs. While I am not crazy tall (I’m 5’8.5″ BUT I am all legs. My legs are as long as my friends who are 6′ tall….So when I say these work for long legs they really do. And THANK YOU American Eagle for delivering with these leggings. They not only offer long but extra long too for you 6′ ladies.

They are affordable ($29.96 to be exact) and the most comfortable jeans I have found. Perfect amount of stretch and they feel amazing and look amazing.

American Eagle Jeggings // AE

Vici Doll Dupes

One of my favorite brands to drool over is Vici dolls. But if you’re like me and don’t always have $70 to spend on a sweater finding dupes is everything. The other issue I have is when I find something I love its sold out almost instantly. Booooo. So for the sake of you and I getting what we want I have been able to track down a couple of my favorite items that vici dolls have and the exact dupes. Are there any other clothing pieces or accessories that you would like me to find dupes of? Comment below and I’ll see what I can find.

Open Front Gray Chunky Knit Cardigan

This chunky open front cardigan has become one of my go to cardigans this winter. Its super chunky but light weight enough that I can layer it with several other layers if I wanted. I wore it a lot when we went to Jackson Hole, WY this year. Cardigan $32.99 / Amazon (Wearing a small)

Long sleeve button down tie front top

I have been eyeing these long sleeve button down tie shirts but couldn’t fathom spending more than $30 on one. Y’all when I say I am frugal, it runs deep. This target version of this VICI DOLLS top is only $16. Woot woot. They have it in white + plum.

Long Sleeve button down tie front shirt $16 / Target

Long Sleeve Button up Bodysuit

I am a sucker for a good bodysuit. Especially in the winter, makes it way easier to layer up without all the layers bunching up. I love this one because its button up. The VICI DOLLS bodysuit they currently have does not have buttons, but they had a short sleeve one that did in the fall that I was drooling over BUT I love long sleeve more than short sleeves so here is this one. Its only $12 VS $38 for the VICI DOLLS one.
Snap button black long sleeve bodysuit $12 / Shein

Black 3/4 sleeve turtleneck top

Y’all need to RUN on this one. Its currently HALF OFF at target. Only $6.49. I have been wearing this with jeans, and with high waist skirts. It’s so versatile its become one of my favorite tops to wear. And it’s black so I mean what more do you need? neutrals for life over here. They have it black, burgundy, and white.

Black Elbow Sleeve Turtleneck Top $6.49 / Target

Gold layered Coin Necklace

I absolutely love the gold layered necklaces that VICI DOLLS has BUT they are usually sold out within hours. No joke. So after searching high and low I found the perfect dupes for 1/5 of the price!!

Gold coin layered necklace $4 / SHEIN

Gold moon pendant necklace

Anyone else loving all the moon necklaces we are seeing? The vici dolls necklaces I have seen have been my favorites. I looked at forever 21, and target and found nothing that was as similar. Then, TA DA I found this ONE from SHEIN. Its perfect and it’s only $3. So ummmmm YES!

Gold moon necklace $3.00 / SHEIN

Turtleneck Sweater

This sweater has to be one of my favorites. Every season there are new styles of sweaters but a good turtleneck with good shape NEVER goes out of style. This turtleneck is just that, and its under $50. So you know winning at life over here, yet again.

High Neck Turtleneck Sweater $23 /SHEIN

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Again, this post is not sponsored by any of the companies mentioned. This is seriously what I do with my time. Find deals for you and me. So hope you enjoyed this post. Lemme know if you want me to do some more like this.

My three favorite skin products

Okay if you’re like me I am low maintenance. I mean lowwwwww maintenance when it comes to beauty. However when I turned thirty I realized that while low maintenance isn’t a good or bad thing having good skin does take some work. Over the past year I began changing my routine. okay, lets be real. I actually started doing stuff because the last time I actually had a daily or even weekly routine was wayyyyyy back when I was a fashion model. So ummm 12 plus years ago. haha. Also I want to mention my skin is VERY SENSITIVE. If there is any kind of warning for possible irritation on a product chances are my face will show that irritation immediately.

Anyways, lets focus on what I am doing right these days. 

First, I clean my face EVERY NIGHT. I use to be able to count the amount of times on one hand that I had washed my face each month. Now I can count the amount of times I HAVEN’T washed my face the entire year on one hand. Because I am low maintenance though I stick to makeup remover wipes. Whether I have actually put on makeup or not. I have tried a couple and these target brand ones are my go to. I have EXTREMELY sensitive skin. I am talking if the label says don’t use if you have sensitive skin they are talking to me. These fragrance free wipes have been the only thing that don’t turn my face red. 

Unscented Facial Wipes from Target $3.89

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Second, I use my tinkle razor THREE nights a week. This thing is my favorite. If you like a good blackhead popping you will love this. It gets the baby hairs and dry skin off so easy. I was so nervous I would cut myself, nope. 
3pk Tinkle Razors  $3.77 

After I use my tinkle razor I immediately follow up with my favorite oil for skin. Manuka oil.

Third, apply manuka oil to my face EVERY NIGHT. This oil stinks bad. I mean its pretty awful when you get a whiff of it but its been magic and has transformed my skin from dry to soft so to me its worth it. Granted I don’t smell it while I am sleeping so it can’t be that bad. Its just when I apply it I notice it. If you’re interested in getting manuka oil let me know and I can order some for you!! Bottle is $36.75. 

I just wanna say that I have tried several serums and anti aging oils and allllllllll the stuff. But using one single oil is what actually worked for me! Imagine that. 

Fourth, Face sheet masks once a week. Now here is what I learned, not all sheet masks are the same. I have tried out at least five types and always come back to these Miss Spa QUENCH face sheet masks. They are the most hydrating. I put it on a day when I am not doing tinkle razor. Ill usually put it on and get some work done and then take it off. A couple things I do though when I take off the sheet mask. I don’t wipe off any of the magic goop thats on my face. I actually peel off mask and rub it all into my face AND neck. Why my neck? Have you ever noticed how people age on their neck?? 

Miss Spa Quench Face sheet masks: $2.99

I am not big on new years resolutions but one thing I will be adding to my skin regimen will be this jade roller. If you haven’t heard about benefits to rolling lemme give you a quick three
Reduces Inflammation + Puffiness
– Help smooth out wrinkles
– Helps lymphatic system by reversing stagnation in face

Amazon has this jade roller ill be getting. Or you can get fancy with a rose quartz roller one HERE