Trauma has the tendency to hit you outta no where with the force of a bulldozer. A blow to your body, mind, and spirit. Instead of collapsing from the blow you’re instantly stunned. Frozen in time. Unable to move, unable to think, unable to process. Your mind somehow unable to put words together to complete a sentence. Your eyes forgetting how to see beauty in the everyday. Your mind grasping at anything to make you feel. Your spirit crying out for freedom. Your body unable to take a step for fear of another blow.
Then one day you have the audacity to grab hold of a twinkling star, to believe it shines for a reason. Suddenly embers begin burning within your heart. Your body remembers how to take steps. Wobbly, but you’re moving forward. Your spirit leaping, dancing almost knowing you’re about to embark on the most beautiful journey you could ever imagine. The ability to dream again in the midst of heart wrenching pain. To find joy in the midst of pain is not to ignore the pain. It’s not pretending the blow never happened. Your body could never forget that gut punch even if you tried. It’s taking step after step saying I’m going to try again, I’m going to say yes again.
Not rushing into something that will be instant gratification but choosing the long steady path. It’s then you realize your hand is in His and he’s been here all along. It was Him who placed that shooting star when he knew your eyes were ready to see it. It was Him who blew on the embers of your heart when He knew your heart was ready to say Yes. It was Him all along. Guiding, aligning the stars.
He watched as that blow hit you so hard. Remembering the force He too was hit. He did it over and over again for you. He knows the pain all to well. You’re not alone in any of this. This is just the beginning. Dare to dream, dare to believe, dare to say Yes.