Striving for the perfect body

 

It seems like a lifetime ago, but there was a time in my life when my every thought was consumed with controlling my body. I taught myself to hate my body. I stared at pictures of women and called them “thinspiration.” I wrote blog posts on how to starve your body and joined groups that gave tips on how to survive on 0 calories or worse yet negative calories. I found pride in working out so much that at the end of the day I had -2000 calories in my body from all the exercise I tortured my body with.

When I was in college I could barely focus because I had not eaten. I was so focused on trying to keep a model looking body, but I was dying inside. I remember the day I biked 7 miles on a roasting hot summer day with diet coke being the only thing I had that day. I felt so sick to my stomach that I  lay  in my bed afterwards thinking I was going to die.

I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t do it anymore. Perfection was unobtainable. So I made the choice to give it all to Christ. I was going to give my whole life to Christ–and it all went away. Never again did I starve my body. Never again did I deplete my body of nutrients. Somehow, supernaturally I was healed. I was made perfect. Still to this day I have never starved my body or had the desire to. I have always had this inner gut check that has kept me on the straight and narrow.

Before I was saved I didn’t realize what I had was good. Not because of my size, not because of how I looked, but because I had been created in God’s image.

My vision had been clouded. I didn’t understand what it meant to love my body. But the day came when I realized I couldn’t live up to my expectations for myself and I finally let go and let God. That was my turning point in giving my life to God. I was so consumed with self till  I finally realized I could not live up to my own standards or the world’s. The ways of the man were always changing, they were always demanding something new and something better.

I left the self hatred at the cross. From that moment I never again starved my body and I never again worked out excessively. He healed me.

Now at 28 years old I’ve found myself accepting my body in a way that I had never imagined.

Because God sees me as beautiful. Whether I workout or not.

I was striving for the attention of man not realizing I had the attention of heaven. God was watching from heaven and  loved me  in my oblivion to His hand  in my life.

Instead of viewing my body and health as an idol I have learned and am still learning to FUEL my God Given Body aka my temple. God has given this amazing gift of a body that is able to do so much. However without proper nutrition we cannot function. One of my biggest inspirations in my health journey has been Amber Dodzweit who is a spokesmodel for Clutch. I have followed her for over five years now watching as she discovered this very thing. Our bodies are our temples we are not here on earth to starve and fit in a mold so that we fit someones perception of a model body. Instead fuel our bodies and train like an athlete.
That is when I have the most fun too. Train hard because you can, not because your punishing yourself.
What has helped you maintain a healthy body image?
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