Written Jan 2014.
It is hard to admit but I forgot who I was. I forgot what I was called too. I had been struggling the last couple months with what I was going to do financially my job situation kept changing every six months and I just wanted consistency. I just wanted to do what I loved but it was like I had forgotten what it was. Then one night I got on my knees like I do every night and prayed to God. “God I need direction” my mind was racing I couldn’t even put words in a sentence, i was so frustrated and confused as to what to do I just prayed that I need help and guidance. I got into bed with my husband we were laying there talking about what I wanted to do. He began asking me what motivated me, what did I enjoy doing. I explained to him I loved seeing people come alive, I loved seeing people being set free and discover who they are. He asked me what motivated me to do this. The answer was simple, God. It was God within me, there were no motives behind this. It was just in me. It was what I loved doing. I didn’t need to stoke a fire, or try and want to motivate people it was just simply what I was designed to do. Then my husband asked me a question that would literally change everything.
“Are you called to ministry?”
I laid there shocked.
How could I have forgotten????
Of course I was!! This is what I had been doing ever since I was saved. I was speaking at conferences, I was writing blogs, I was going out and evangelizing to young women. This is what drove me. This is what I was made for. However between moving to Kansas City and the death of my mom I had forgotten this simple thing. After my moms death it was like I was knocked off my feet and was trying to re-gain my footing somewhere, someplace. I had been knocked off my feet so far away that I was confused and dazed as to where I was and what I was made for.
How could I have forgotten?
I had been trying to make other things happen in my life but I knew deep down they were not what I wanted to do. There was always that passion in me that there is something I was made for that just comes naturally.
So here I am, back at it again. Sharing my life in hopes that it will encourage and inspire you to life a full life.