I want to share with you a story, that is happening right now in my life. I sold my car last week. I have been needing a new one for awhile. So I figured now is the time. So when I sold my car within 24 hours and found an SUV for sale that was the price I wanted and was cute I was ecstatic. I was ready to look at it the next day.
But before the night ended someone else bought it.
Two days later I find another vehicle.
I was hesitant about it but my brother who happens to be a mechanic reassured me it was a good choice. So I looked at it, I fell in love. It was comfortable, big, and just what I am looking for. I tell them I will be back after the weekend when my loan is approved to have my brother look at it and possibly buy it.
Then I get the call my loan is approved monday. Enter the ecstatic feelings again.
Then four hours later I find out, the vehicle has been sold. Enter the feelings of disappointment.
I am sitting there staring at my phone. I know right there I have a choice to make. I can be angry and upset that it seems each vehicle I look at is getting taken OR I can focus on who God is. So I text my friend asking her to pray for my heart to not be discouraged and she texts me back something so simple, yet so profound.
“…So don’t worry about what’s lost just expect whats coming”.
It hit me. I was so focused on the wrong thing. I took a moment and prayed asked God to help me focus on Him and not this little thing called a vehicle. The scriptures about being reminded I am of more worth than the sparrows came to mind. I choose to focus on God, focus on Jesus and who He is. I got off work and made plans to go to look at cars with my brother at the end of the week. I was feeling better. I was feeling hope and excitement. I work 11 hr days, so trying to get a day to go look at cars the same time my brother is available is rare. At this point I was talking to my mom telling her how I was going to go look at cars on friday with the intention of buying one. Then I all of a sudden realized I double booked myself and I am photographing a wedding friday there is no way that I can go look at a car. I stand there, the hope I once felt seems to have instantly been snatched away. My hand grabs my face covering my eyes that are starting to water I say “don’t cry, don’t stress out”. I walk away, collapse in my chair and tears find there way out of my eyes. Wrapped up in me getting this new car hinges some big life decisions for the next season of my life…or so I placed my hope. I had put my hope in a vehicle, not my savior. I had gotten it all wrong.
O ye of little faith. Am I not enough?
I had lost track of where my hope was to be. Instead of focusing on Gods perfect divine plan for my life, I allowed time to be the dictator of whether I was okay or not.
O ye of little faith. Have I not called you to believe that I can do the impossible.
Last night someone was encouraging me reminding me God has called you to the impossible, if it were possible you could do it just fine. God calls us to the impossible so that He may receive the Glory and Honor due to His name.
In these times my job is NOT to worry, or doubt, or fear that it cannot be done. But rather step back and let God orchestrate my life. He has divine and beautiful plan for it. Where it seems like all my timelines are getting messed up, Gods timeline is right on time. I was reminded of my impatience tonight as drivers seemed to be particularly crazy swerving in between cars just to get ahead one car. Then it dawned on me, I do that. In life, I try and get ahead. I try and make sure I’m going as fast as I deem neccessary. But it isn’t necessarily the speed God has called me too. Many times God has called me to slllllooooooowwwww down and enjoy life in His presence. But I can find myself so focused on trying to do. Trying to get things “just right”. Mind you I decided things were just right because of the american dream.
O ye of little faith. Have I not called you to rest?
God has called me to rest in what He has done, not in what I can do. What I can do will never ever add up to what He has done for me. I am to choose to rest in His work on the cross, in His ability to uphold the heavens and the seas. I am called to abide in Him. Not abide in the comforts of this world. I am called to rest in Him.
O ye of little faith have you forgotten I have fought the fight for you?
All to often I try and fight battles the Lord has already fought for me. I try and prove myself, where Jesus already won. I find myself striving to prove my worth, my ability. My worth is found in one thing. Christ. What He did at the cross proves my worth. hands down.
O ye of little faith have you forgotten its going to be worth it?
Sometimes I just need that reminder. Its going to be worth it. Whatever it is that I am going through. I can get through. There is no question about that- but only because of Christ. And as I walk through it, there is a lesson to be had. And it will be worth it. It will refine me as Gold. This is heavenly treasure- the refining of my heart, of my character.
O daughter. Forget not what He has done. O ye of little faith take rest in the cross. It has been accomplished. All you are to do is believe.
Lord, help my unbelief.