Singleness: Proactively waiting


“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”

Proverbs 31:22

It is late and I am pumped on endorphins after an awesome workout, therefore I can’t sleep. But it goes beyond endorphins. Its that I can’t get to sleep until I write kinda thing, until I touch the heart of God and know what He is thinking tonight. It goes to my desire to know truth. For those around me to know truth. Especially single women. Awhile back I was doing a mini series on what it means to be a single woman of God. And tonight I want to re-visit that topic. This weekend a friend reminded me of verse 22 in the well known Proverbs 31. Its quoted above. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” The key phrase is HE. Not the woman. It is not the woman’s responsibility to be looking, searching for a husband.

It is my belief that just as the body of Christ is to prepare themselves as Christs bride as pure, spotless, and holy we are to be doing the same as we wait to become married. It goes back to “proactively waiting”. Above all else our eyes are to be fixed on Jesus. Philippians 4:8 is a constant reminder of what to do when I am unsure, doubting, or worried: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” You know what is true, noble, right, pure, holy? JESUS! When in doubt, open the word of God and learn about Jesus.

I want to open up a bit about my personal walk in hopes that it encourages, and maybe it resonates with some of you as well. As of late in my prayer time I have felt the Lord calling me to Arise, to prepare myself as a bride. The one true meaning of this will ALWAYS be in reference to Jesus first and foremost. No matter what. I am already bethrothed, and I am to be acting, talking, thinking as though I am. This means setting my gaze higher, not settling for less, it can come down to very practical things. But the main purpose of it all is to GLORIFY JESUS through myself. How I arise and prepare myself may look different than how you do. But there will be a common denominator, Jesus is exalted and Jesus is our source of strength. The moment I think I can do it on my own and “let go” so to speak, I find myself quickly drowning in the sea of confusion and misrepresentation of what life is ‘suppose’ to look like according to the world.

So to go over again what it means to proactively wait, here are some practical steps. Take them or leave them. Better yet, talk to God about them. Ask Him what it is that He has specifically for you. And remember we ultimately are waiting for our King and savior Jesus Christ to return. We do this first and foremost for Jesus, and secondly for our possible future husband here on earth.

Proactively PRAY for your future spouse. This goes beyond the “bless him, keep him safe”. Ask the Lord about your future spouse. He knows Him better than you ever will and will be able to guide you in how to pray for this person even if you have not met them. What a powerful thing to be doing now!

Proactively prepare yourself as servant of Christ. As a disciple of Christ we are to serve. If you become a wife, serving is apart of the description. Start now, the so called little things like washing the dishes, letting the person go in front of you, paying for that persons groceries…Serve in your community. Ask the Lord where it is that He would have you involved.

Proactively seek Gods will for your life above your own. His ways are higher than our own. He knows what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, ten years from now. He knows what we need in our lives to build the patience, the long-suffering, the kindness to endure and overcome in the end. Is God asking you to move? Change jobs? Work more? Work less? Read the bible? What is it God is asking you to do vs what the world says a productive day is.

Patiently wait. This can be the hardest. Especially living in a microwave generation. We ask, and the world gives. God however desires relationship. The journey, he desires to partner with us to accomplish His will. {WHAT AN HONOR!!!}

And remember the holy grail is not having a husband, children, or a family. While being given the opportunity to partner with another human being on this earth is incredible im sure. The ultimate gift is Gods love. Let us NEVER forget the purpose of our life. Is to love God and allow Him to love us back.

Proactively prepare & guard your heart {know your hearts worth}: There is a scripture that talks about not giving your pearls to the swine. Women, this is for you especially. You do not give your heart to any man who says your cute. I repeat, do not give your heart away for free to the first man who compliments you. This compliment can be about looks, your ministry, and so on. The heart is a very precious thing. The man who gets your heart should be a man who understands the worth of your heart and has worked hard to hold it. {This does not mean making the said man jump through hoops}

Proactively assess how your heart is: Give your burdens to the Lord. Be honest. Its okay to be weak, its okay to admit you don’t like being single, or you are offended at the Lord for not being in a relationship. Just make sure that is not your focus. Our focus is to be on Jesus. But it is however important for us to work out the heart issues that we may have in our heart towards Jesus/God.

Remember in the waiting its not all about you. So many times you hear women, I myself am guilty of saying this. Where is he God, why can’t he hurry up. But then I am reminded God is doing His PERFECT work in this man as well.

Wow. I didn’t mean to write so many but hopefully it blessed you. Please remember I am NOT trying to come with a ten step program to go from being single to married. The fact is not all marry. period. BUT, we have a love that is greater than any earthly human can offer. This blog entry is merely a reminder to those seeking marriage, do it proactively, but let the man do the searching.


Kymberly Janelle

5 thoughts on “Singleness: Proactively waiting

  1. Kymmie,
    this so touches my heart, and totally relates to what God’s been teaching me. And how He’s been wooing me as His bride! I also relates to the moments (and sometimes longer) when I get impatient and just want my groom to come. 🙂
    You are such a gem, and I’m thankful for your encouragement.

    Love you tons, and see you in July!


  2. Oh my gosh Kymberly.

    I think God put you in my life to teach me about this. Like, for reals. It’s always when I’m trying to not think of this topic as a big deal for me that you have something to say about it :]] Thanks love :]

    Miss you lady :]]

    ❤ Elaine

  3. This is a GREAT post, Kymberly! I’m so glad the Lord is teaching you in this area.

    With 6 young adults in their 20’s (and only 1 married yet) I know well the desire of the young ladies to have a man in her life … to find her partner … to know whom she will be spending the rest of her life with. And, it is HARD to wait patiently.

    I also know that the young men need to wait patiently for the young lady that the Lord has planned for him, as well. He does not need to quickly pursue just because he believes he is ready to get married. He, too, must wait for the Lord’s timing and discernment.

    And … while you all wait … my prayer is that YOU each become the person that the Lord wants YOU to be. Ladies … focus on what will make you a godly wife. Men … focus on what will make you godly husbands. So many young people have a list of who that perfect mate will be; while they should be focusing on becoming the perfect mate.

    You are a beautiful young lady, and I am sure that the Lord has GREAT plans for your life. Keep seeking Him, and He will guide your steps.

    Hope your week is BLESSED!

    Laurel 🙂

  4. This is amazing. I stumbled upon this and was just what I need to hear for what I’m currently going through. I am a 26 year old woman (photographer as well!) who has been drawing so much closer to the Lord the last couple of months. Searching and waiting on him. Working on changing my heart and being the true self that He made me to be. While also praying about my future… career steps, spouse, etc… It’s been so tough at times because I am that girl that never went or goes searching for a man. I’m 26 and I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I don’t want to waste time on men where I know it’s not what God wants. It’s so easy to get discouraged though. But this is JUST what I needed to hear to encourage me some more. To keep proactively waiting. To now, more than ever, try to understand His purpose for my life.

    So thank you, deeply. And bless you for sharing these words.


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